Purple People
Rare but Everywhere
Near the end of Alice Walker’s book The Color Purple, the character Shug tells the protagonist Celie that she thinks “it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.” Alice Walker explained that she chose the color purple because it “seems so rare, but it’s everywhere. It’s in the shadows of rocks; it’s in the shadows of many things.”
People have favorite colors for all kinds of reasons. If purple is your favorite, maybe it’s because you’re the type of person who notices beauty everywhere. Maybe you were a fan of Prince. Maybe you support pancreatic cancer or Alzheimer’s research. Purple is considered to be the color of royalty so possibly it’s in your DNA.
From my experience those who love purple tend to be vibrant, creative people who pay attention to all that is beautiful in this world, notice what is in the shadows, and are not afraid to be themselves. Those are my favorite kinds of folks.
Speaking of favorite folks, I first met my then boyfriend/now husband Steve’s family at a pool party back in the mid 1980’s at his mother’s house in Santa Ana, California. I brought tequila-infused cherry tomatoes. They were well received.
The pool was beautiful, everyone was warm and friendly, and there were so many siblings with so many names to remember. Christy, Steve, (at least I had that one down already!) Weeja, Dorothi, Do, Sheeya, Pat, George, Sam, Buster, Fool, Sandra, Chana.
It turns out there were actually only six siblings who (except for Christy) all had more than one name.
My family didn’t use nicknames. My family was much smaller and quieter. My father was transferred from the Carolinas where our families had lived for centuries to Southern California where we knew no one. This made the five of us, my parents, me, and two brothers, an insular unit without nearby aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandmothers.
It was a joy to join a big family.
And now the six siblings are five. The second oldest sister, Dorothi Jean Camarillo, is finally at peace after a fierce battle with fucking cancer. Dorothi (aka Do and Sheeya) lived her 75 years to the fullest of her impressive abilities. She was always her own bad ass self, strong and opinionated, generous to a fault, and completely devoted to her daughter Bernadette. She was also a fan of purple.
Steve and I went to Oahu with Christy and Dorothi in January of 2017. We survived the infamous fake Korean missile strike, strolled through beautiful botanical gardens, and splashed around in the bathtub beach just down the hill from our rented house in Laie.
Everywhere we went, Dorothi’s purple hair, long purple nails, and personal style drew attention. One man was so enamored that he followed her through a beach parking lot, begging to take his picture with her. She graciously agreed.
When we were gathering pictures for Dorothi’s service we were grateful for the photos of her we could find. We wished there were more. We wish she was still with us, and we are glad she is at peace.
The poem “Warning” written by Jenny Joseph in 1961 has always been one of my favorites, so I read it at Dorothi’s service. When I was an overly timid kid, I wanted to grow up and be a woman who never apologized for who she was. A woman like my sister-in-law Dorothi.
Warning by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Speaking of characters, the theme of this year’s LitFest in the Dena is “Books That Teach Us About Character.” LitFest takes place on May 2nd and 3rd this year at Pasadena Presbyterian Church, 585 E. Colorado Blvd.
I’m moderating a panel of some of my other favorite bad ass women, Lisa Alvarez, Andrea Leeb, and Sarah Rafael Garcia. We’re going to be talking about “Matriarchs and Other Monsters” (sorry Mom!) at 1:00 p.m. on Saturday, May 3rd in the church Library.
All the panels look terrific. I’m sticking around for the panel after ours which is titled “When Good People Write Bad People” with Diana Wagman, Janet Fitch, Gary Phillips, Alex Espinoza, and David Ulin. Come by if you can!
Ursula K. LeGuin said, “We read books to find out who we are. What other people, real or imaginary, do and think and feel... is an essential guide to our understanding of what we ourselves are and may become.”
These are times to try and find understanding.
Spring has sprung in our garden. Our Pride of Madeira is in full bloom and the hummingbirds are happy. Pride of Madeira is a resilient purple flowered plant originally from the Island of Madeira in Portugal. It thrives in challenging environments like our nearly zero-water yard.
Here’s to resilience, in plants and in humans. We all need this quality more than ever these days.
I’ve written about a few resilient women in my novels, inspired by all of the beautiful examples in my life. Who are the bad ass women in your life? Write me back and let me know and I’ll enter you in a chance to win your choice of an eBook of either The Lockhart Women or Those People Behind Us. US subscribers only.
Congrats to Barbara Paul who won the last newsletter giveaway.








Mary, I'm so sorry about Dorothi's passing but also love the way you remember her here, connected to the poem you shared. Thankfully Dorothi learned the Purple message early enough to enjoy it.
The bad ass women in my life are Ethel Maude Wyatt (my granny), Thelma Lee Lackey Kropf (my mom), Beverly Jean Harrison (my auntie), Shelly Matautia (my BFF), Mariya Fogarasi (my other BFF), and Melissa Ann Trajano (my daughter)!